I shouted in agony to the top of my lungs. I couldn’t handle it anymore. My meaningless and purposeless life was coming to an end. I had struggled enough. I had tried every single day to put my depression aside and go out with a smile. Luckily, it had been a so called ‘success’ as people had believed that I was doing well as always. But little did they know that I was dead inside and I was just wearing a happy mask outwardly to show them.
No one knew the amount of exhausting effort that putting up a fake smile demanded. Surviving every single day was a challenge in itself since it seemed as if I had exerted my body so much that I couldn’t keep up with it anymore. My appetite was cutting down, I couldn’t eat anything. I couldn’t sleep at all. I had lost the interest in all sorts of my daily activities like cooking, washing etc. I was unable to do anything. I couldn’t even feel happiness because my soul had died so the feeling of emptiness and hollowness always enveloped me. People’s rude comments were always running in my head and I was certain that I was a useless person. My life was not worth living at all!
I tried to share my condition with my family and friends but no one believed me, ‘You seem perfectly fine, you don’t even know what its like to be depressed for REAL.’ I couldn’t understand what REAL DEPRESSION really was! I was already suffering from all the symptoms associated with depression but somehow no one understood me. And thats how mental illnesses usually goes. Just because you cannot see a mental illness, you assume that the other person is alright. If you can’t see a broken leg or an amputated arm, it means that you are doing perfectly well.
But do you ever take out a moment and think about the psychological pressures that another person might be going through? Do you ever wonder that behind everyone’s smile, there could be a million reasons to get depressed? Do you ever just randomly ask your friend if she is doing okay? No, as a society we usually don’t acknowledge mental health the way it should be done. And on top of that, if another person is courageous enough to open up about their psychological condition, we just tell them that they are doing well and they don’t even know what REAL PSYHOLOGICAL ILLNESSES are! And you know what, this sort of attitude makes the patient suffer even more because they start believing that no one understands them so it is precisely at this moment that they think of committing suicide or other extremely unethical acts like murder. Therefore, the importance of understanding each other cannot be emphasised enough. If you feel that you are not being understood by anyone around you, feel free to contact Pukaar as we have a well trained panel of psychologists who are always keen to listen to others and understand them. Whats more, Pukaar can even help you to overcome your psychological disturbances and aid you in leading a satisfied life.
Written By: Rida Irfan