Being a girl raised up in a Pakistani society, we are continuously told to learn hundreds of household chores like cooking, washing and cleaning, just because we are expected to grow up into hard working housewives who have nothing to do in their lives but SERVE their husbands 24/7. Even as a small girl, if we want to do something, we are told to fulfill all our desires after marriage. But alas, what happens after marriage? Everyone changes!
As a wife if you are struggling in maintaining a healthy relationship with your husband or are being abused, trust me no one cares about your happiness; instead they fear the society way more than they love you! So, no doubt you are told to bear every atrocity silently just because everyone is afraid ‘What will others say?’ And when you decide to put an end to an abusive relationship, it becomes even more difficult. As a divorcee, everyone makes your life worse than hell! You are continuously taunted, looked down upon and considered a burden on the society.
But you know what, you are stronger than you think! The very fact that you put an end to an abusive relationship and are now facing the society’s negative reaction heads on actually demonstrates your strength. So never let yourself loose because of what others say. Believe in yourself! Here are a few points to remember while coping with the stress associated with ending an abusive relationship:
- Free yourself from the labels. People will on and off tell you that you are a highly emotional and sensitive person who has committed a sin by ending the abusive relationship with your husband. But wait, don’t let others define you! Just because you didn’t live up to their unjustified standards, it doesn’t mean that they have the right to tell you what you are. You know yourself better than you think! So never let the labels dictate your identity.
- Find the best friend within. Even if everyone leaves you, remember you are never alone. Look within yourself and find your own best friend who could divide your grief and multiply your happiness. Love your self; take great care of your own needs and you will never feel ignored. As it is said, self love is the first step towards happiness.
- Keep yourself busy. An empty mind is a house for all negativities. So never sit idly as all the adverse thoughts of the abusive relationship and the society’s criticism will clog your mind. Why not do something that you have been wanting to do all your life? Pursue your passion, fulfill your goals, socialize with your friends, go out for a morning walk, join a gym and engage in lots of activities. Enjoy the newly attained freedom to its fullest!
No doubt, bringing an end to an abusive marital relationship brings with itself numerous challenges. But remember, never let yourself down in any way. Don’t think of yourself as a victim, you are a SURVIVOR! If at any moment you feel that you are unable to cope with the stressors, Pukaar is here for you. Never hesitate to reach out to Pukaar as we have qualified professionals who are eager to help you out through all your difficulties.
Written By: Rida Irfan