The emotional turmoil that we find ourselves in during a semester is something we can all relate to, however the month long semester break is what keeps us going. I chose to spend mine doing what every adult dreams off and only a few are fortunate enough to achieve; twelve hours of sleep, curled up in a warm blanket watching movies and sipping hot beverages. I was living the life man. I somehow found myself watching a lot of romantic movies, not sure if it was my subconscious mind reminding me of how miserably lonely I am or my brain wanting me to judge how love practically forces people to make stupid decisions that is destined to end in a bad break up.

What I’ve learnt so far, and that is something that we’re all aware of is that women go for guys that lack emotional stability. I chuckled as I typed this, but as absurd as it may sound, it is true for a lot of movie plots. This concept got me thinking about men. No, not in a way you’re thinking, but about how they feel when it comes to situations like when they find love, or when they get dumped, which by the way we all know is the guy that owns a house, has a job, is emotionally available, love you unconditionally, respects you, treats you well but somehow it’s the sarcastic, rude and insensitive boys that get the girl at the end.

These movies give us an insight as to how men channel their emotions, which can be seen in the real world as well. In our patriarchal society, the trend of toxic masculinity is religiously practiced. We see men being dominant members of the household and making decisions for others. We see men being abusive towards their partners or children, we see them being aggressive and at the end of the day instead of changing the culture of masculinity, we say “oh that’s how men are, that’s what they do”, trying to justify their behavior. But what we don’t question is that even in 2020, where it is okay to talk about one’s feeling; men often suppress their emotions because the world would consider them less “manly”. What we fail to understand is that the standards that our patriarchal society has set are affecting men too. The pressure of getting a job that provides well to take care of the family. To be the one that is responsible for everyone’s life. This pressure elevates the stress levels that lead to anger issues that are quite commonly seen in our societies.

Anger management is the ability to take control of one’s negative emotions that affects our daily lives. People who are short tempered might jeopardize their jobs or relationships with loved ones. Here are some ways you can bring positivity in your behavior:

1. Identifying triggers: we often find ourselves in situations where we lose control of our emotions, for instance arguing with someone, people making mistakes, etc. it is our responsibility to identify what causes us to lose our temper and work out ways in which we can control it.
2. Stepping away from the situation: it is important for us to realize how leaving a place can affect our emotions positively. It is advised to go out for a walk or leave the room when you feel you can’t control your anger.
3. Breathing exercise: Taking deep breathes gives you an opportunity to relax your body, that also clears up your brain and decreases your stress levels.
4. Revaluating thinking: taking time to construct thoughts before speaking, gives you an opportunity to say stuff that won’t haunt you later.
5. Talk to somebody: Sometimes people find it difficult to manage their emotions by themselves; they need help from someone from the outside. This is where the roles of psychologists come in. Pukaar is a community that helps people get their lives back on track. So if you feel you’re losing grip of your life, contact Pukaar.

Written by: Izza Raza